Feeling useless

Have you ever spent time with your friends just hanging around the corner chitchatting and exchanging corny jokes? Laughing out loud even if nothing worth laughable is mentioned? Surely, everyone must have done this but doing this continuously almost everyday makes me freaking sick and tired of all non-sense. I'm not saying though that I am always with my friends but the same situation goes.

I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed for realizing this but it makes me feel dumb, low and useless. Sometimes, overdoing a joke or acting childish almost every time is really irritating. I can almost say to myself that my common sense is degrading for being able to stand up for all those non-sense moment. I know I am being vague here but something just came up recently and I wish I can get away from that person the soonest possible time. Or if not, at least I'll be able to spend less time with that person. He is starting to get into my nerves and I dunno how long I can extend my patience and how long I can handle the situation. I'm scared that if this continues I might just burst out and it might end up worse than what I expect.

They say that talking to the party involve would most like save you from the dilemma but I guess this will not work for this.  Talking to an insensitive, narrow-minded and perfectionist person will not do any good especially if the person is not open to suggestions or constructive criticism after all. I just pity that person because if he won't exert efforts to improve himself and to be a better person, he will surely end up as loser as he is right now. Forgive me for saying this but writing what I feel helps me keep up with the burden...

On doing nothing

It's been a while since I came back to my hometown. The excitement was really indescribable knowing that I'd be coming back home. I don't have to wake up early to meet schedules and to be on time for work. I have all the time I wanted and I needed. In fairness, I have done all the things I have been longing to do with my friends for a while. I have spent time with them and have had enough of time to waste just sleeping on the couch after eating. This has been a routine for almost a month since I came back home. Frankly, sleeping after eating has become quite a habit which I think should be stopped before it gets worse. What would you expect to feel doing it everyday after quite some time? Surely, you'll get bored with it. That is how I feel right now. I am totally bored and I dunno know what to do.

I know I should take things seriously by now. I am old enough to know my responsibilities and to be matured enough to take consequences of my own actions. I hated the idea of doing nothing yet the tendency of not being able to do something for the boredom is more distracting. I should land a job. Maybe by having one, I will get to know more people and get to have pressure at least. But how will I go about it? Honestly, I wanted to land a job but i dunno how to start and where to start.

If only horoscopes do come true, then I'll just be hopeful that by next week something good and productive will happen to me. I do believe in the saying "no guts, no glory" but I dunno where to get the courage to have guts. Baga ug face as I am, there are times when my confidence is really just too low that I wouldn't know how to pull myself together and be able to do what I intend to do...

xmas party.wmv

Kabuang with Ate Lot and Momoi last night... ;)

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1

I did watch the first installment of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows when it first hit cinemas last November 19. Yes, it's been quite a while since I watched it but I only got this time to write something about it. To sum up my entire experience with the movie, I would have to say that it is one of the best Harry Potter installments I have seen from the very first movie down to the seventh movie. Honestly, I am already anticipating the last installment of Book 7 and I can't wait to see it. However, we really cannot hide the fact that the trio have really grown a lot over the years. We really cannot hide the fact that they no longer look kids portraying their role but rather grown ups who have fully developed their physical looks.

Surely, if you have read my review for the last movie (Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince) I would say I was quite impress with how the director injected humor in the movie but having seen the Deathly Hallows part 1 I guess that would change my opinion a bit of the Half Blood Prince. The Deathly Hallows installment has quite a lot of thrilling and fighting scenes which I guess people would normally want to see in a Harry Potter movie. The seventh book's first installment indeed did not fail us on this part. On another note, knowing that the movie has the same director from book six, the way the story is laid in the seventh book is quite conventional and really close to how the manuscript was written. This is something that you would really appreciate knowing how movies can really be different from books.

Also, I would have to give credit to the humor injected in the movie especially on the part where Ron decided to abandon both Harry and Hermione within their quest in searching for the remaining Horcruxes. I would say that this is one of the best parts I have read on the book because it shows how Hermione has really fallen in love with Ron and how much Harry really cares for her as his sister. The movie has done a superb humor having Harry asked Hermione to dance with her knowing how sad his best friend is from Ron's departure.

I would have to admit that when they were still doing the movie, I have read a lot of articles about the on going shooting and the different set pictures they have. At first, when I saw the pictures of Dobby's burial, I really felt bad about it seeing the people who buried the elf which is really different from how the things happened in the book. But upon seeing the movie, though there were scenes where they changed some of the characters involved, overall the movie still turned out very enticing.

Let me also mention my most favorite part in the book. That was when Hermione and Harry decided to go back to Godric's Hallow. It was christmas eve and they went to the church where a cemetery lies nearby that holds Harry's parents. J.K. Rowling was able to describe that scene beautifully especially with how she relates the emotions surrounding Harry and Hermione that time when Harry introduced her to his parents. I like how this scene was transmitted to the big screen.

Tags: harry potter

DECEPTION

She smiles like she’s a real friend

She talks like she cares

She sympathizes like she means it

She plays innocent on all these

Behind the smile is an evil intention

Underneath the talk is a deception

A sympathy that leads to desertion

A play with willful intention

A trusting heart that’s busted

A friendship that’s ended

A trust that’s betrayed

A relationship that’s blemished

Good memories have vanished

Anger is triggered

Strong bond is damaged

Of the very thing once treasured

Friendship is shattered

Tear drops are scattered

Emotions are plastered

Judgments are clouded

Blame her you cannot

For friendship she’s deprived

Harmony she has not

Attention she possess not

A wishful thought for her I have

To the day the rain would come

The people she considers are right

Till death would save her out

When Love Hurts Too Much

Shattered…Busted…Wrecked
To whom shall you hold?
Bruised…Forlorn…Poignant
How long shall this last?
Heartbreak…Catastrophe…Devastation
Will there ever be light?

Blissful…Pleasure…Assurance
Was all it was?
Memories…Contentment… Sanctuary
Where has it gone?
Passion…Fervor…Commitment
Shall it end?

When love hurts too much
How long shall you hold?
When love hurts too much
How strong can you stand?
When love hurts so much
Will there be chance?

Digging Owns Graveyard

Humiliated…

Hurting ego…

Dwindling pride…

Broken heart…

Heart screaming in pain

Twinge like there’s never an end

Shattered like there’s never a fix

Bleeding like there’s never a stop

Holding oneself like as if it would help

Cradling thy own till my sorrows end

Crippled till my last breath comes

Hoping there will ever be light

Darkness enveloped me

Slowly constricting my breathe

Till nothing is left to exhale

I anticipated the pain

Which I think is not coming

Cold…numbed…tongue-tied

Waiting for the final moment to cease

Thoughts were rushing back on me

Of the things I have done wrongly

Consequence it is as they say

Karma as what others may claim

Prize for being the bad one

Discerned for committing mistakes

Forgiveness is so much unfathomable

In a world where prejudice exist

Stigmatize so they say

Drain among the crowd

A shed of light is all I need

Moving on is an option

While forgetting is not

Of the mistake once done

Will there be triumph?

Or is it time to admit defeat?

Just go and grab the shovel

To dig owns graveyard…